


A Tiny Rivalry

by RebelDrFerguson



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Armand the ball of fuss and no fucks, Cute, M/M, Suggestive Portarmis, Swearing, Tiny Cardinal, Tiny Treville, Treville the ball of fighting and middle fingers, Witchcraft mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:12:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8415091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelDrFerguson/pseuds/RebelDrFerguson
Summary: (AU) Richelieu and Captain Treville have been cursed by the Witch Comtesse Ninon De Larroque for their childish behaviour at her trial. Seeing her chance to end their spats once and for all she turns them both into the children they are leaving Jussac to play Papa to the man who practically raised him and Aramis and Porthos to control a grumpy kid, Captain. Contains suggested Trevlieu and Portamis.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've no idea why I wrote this for other than comedy reason. Tiny Richelieu and Treville make me squee. ( Not properly edited so beware some errors ahead)

"Please Armand don't fuss" Jussac sighed for the third time as he jostled the tiny cardinal in his arms. Aramis just chuckled at the sight.

Jussac sat at the table in the King's dining hall holding the man in question. Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu had been turned into a 5 year old sized boy. Literally, clothes, cape and beard. He was literally a tiny Cardinal. Quite adorable if you saw past the high-pitched yelling, abusive ranting and the bite marks on Jussac's hand where he was fighting to get out of the Guards hold.

"and...OW! Stop biting me Cardinal god grief!, OW!" Jussac had an incredible amount of patience Aramis had to give him that. No matter what insult Richelieu threw at him or how hard he bit he didn't lose his temper. It was clear all this fuss was just his way of panicking.

 

"Captain!"

Aramis turned at the sound of Porthos shouting. Treville had gotten free and was making for the door.

"I'LL KILL HER!" he squealed intent on taking the head off that witch of a women Comtesse Ninon De Larroque for turning himself and Cardinal Richelieu into children.

Aramis dropped aside his hat and dove out blocking the tiny Captain's path and wrestling him into his arms.

"Nooooo!" He'd been so close!

"Captain, come on now..." Aramis carrying him back towards Porthos who took him gratefully and held him tight in his lap like Jussac was doing with Armand.

"so let me get this straight" The Queen resumed after a long silence while her and her husband viewed the situation  that had been brought to their attention.  " Comtesse Ninon De Larroque was indeed an actual Witch?  a women with magical abilities? and she's turned both our beloved Cardinal and The Captain of my husband's Guard into children?"

The room nodded, unable to find any words to describe the moment.

"Well this is just Insane!" Louie laughed watching as Richelieu began to complain he was too warm and Jussac took off his now tiny leather garbs. "What can we do?"

"The Comtesse has been held in the Bastille, she states she will only reverse the effects if the two can 'stop fighting' " Porthos put emphasis on the fighting earning two dark glares from the tiny pair.

"Never" they called in unison and now we're back to glaring at each other. Armand stuck his tongue out at Treville who in turn held a tiny middle finger at the Cardinal who gasped and pointed. "Blasphemy!"

"Oh put your balls back in your briefs Armand you know this was your fault!"

"I'm not wearing briefs, I don't own underwear so see you in hell!!"

The King by this point who'd been trying not to piss himself laughing at the problem fell into a fit of hysterics at the high pitched screech of profanity.

Aramis was staring at the ceiling trying to pretend he hadn't heard the cardinal was 'loose balling'  and Jussac just looked more worried than ever.

"Sir please, if you do not quit this silly feud you hold against The Captain, the Comtesse will leave you like this forever..." he pleaded unwilling to want to take care of a baby Cardinal for the rest of his life.

Armand paused in his next word and The Captain looked up to Porthos. "She can't really do that?"

"I'm afraid she can Captain, we've no idea how she did this so, in turn have no way to turn you back" Aramis responded his finger's carefully stroking the soft hair on the back of Porthos head affectionately just out of sight of everyone in the room.

Having recovered from his laughter, The King stood and sighed loudly. "Perhaps a walk is needed...it's too nice a day to coop ourselves in here and discuss this, maybe we stood take a walk in the gardens and let these two settle things between themselves now they know the outcome?" he offered making for the door.

They all seemed to agree seeing the two 'children' had suddenly gone quite in realisation of the predicament.

As they stood and Porthos put the Captain down holding his hand, Jussac was having a harder time trying to put down the Cardinal.

"Uh uh!!" Armand wriggled pulling his legs up and clutching at Jussac's shoulder his huge blue eyes screaming of fear as if the floor was made of lava. "Don't wana go down"

"Come on sir how are you to walk if I'm holding you?" he chuckled as the Queen came over.

"Quite the little rebel is he not?" she smiled looking over the now tiny bundle of Cardinal that looked to her confused.

It was an strange request to have her ask to hold him. Even he found it odd. Alas he allowed her to take him without a fuss and even giggled as she tickled his tiny bearded chin. "Look at you in your little cape, you're so cute" she coo'd as they wandered outside.

Aramis winced. The Cardinal cute? Well okay this small he guessed the man was of that description but 5 years old or not he was still Cardinal Richelieu even if he seemed to be placated by the Queen's sudden onset of parental instinct.

As they reached the lawns she convinced the tiny Cardinal to sit down with Treville and behave. The two now miniature rivals looked to each other in mild disgust as she walked away to join her husband to admire the fountains.

"So?"

Armand looked back to Jean.

"So what?"

"Aren't you going to apologize"

"What for?! You're the one who's wrong!" Armand seethed back his high pitched voice making Jussac turn to watch them from across the courtyard.

"How can-your the one who started it"

"She's a witch"

"I noticed that! I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about the fact you were suggesting her to be a fucking Lesbian!" The word left's Treville's lips before he could clamp a hand to his mouth.

The Cardinal whipped his head around hoping the other's hadn't heard him and shoved him into the line of trees.

"You idiot! I didn't say that!" Armand hissed back venomously hoping to God no one heard Treville not only swear but claim The Cardinal knew of any women committing homosexual acts.

Treville tugged himself free of the fir's and stood back up brushing off the leaf needles. "I didn't say you said it! I said you suggested idiot"

"I'M NOT AN IDIOT" Armand shouted shoving Treville back into the trees.

This time when Treville re-surfaced Armand was storming away across the grass towards a flower bed muttering angrily.

Treville sighed, this wasn't going to work unless one of them gave in and it looked like it was going to have to be him.

He gave it a few minutes before going after The Cardinal and dropped down beside him on the lawn as the other picked at blades of grass.

"I'm sorry....you're not an idiot" he offered knowing truthfully he had been out of line to say that, Armand had always been smart. Very smart, to have a network of spy's across France took work and charming skill, no idiot could be like Armand.

 

It was a long moment before Armand replied. "Apology accepted" he huffed "Sorry I pushed you in the bushes"

"The queen found it funny"

Armand  smirked. "She's just hormonal...you know she doesn't like me but all of sudden she wants to carry me and call me cute"

Treville snickered.

"Your beards cute" Treville muttered reached out to touch the fluff.

Armand frowned. "I'm not cute...I'll mess you up"

Treville just snorted. "You couldn't fight me, I'd win with one hand tied behind my back"

"Oh is that so"

"is too"

"Is not!!"

"IS TOO"

"is not, is not, is not" Armand denied standing and pouncing on Trevllie and pinning him down.

Their wrestling match caught the attention of the adults who just begin to laugh before walking across to break them up.

"Boys! Boys! please!" called The Queen as a fist full of dirt smashed into Trevilles face and Armand ended up with his face into the flower bed spitting petal's and violent curses.

They stopped the second Jussac grabbed Treville's collar and yanked him up but not without accidently kicking Armand in between his legs first.

"You cheap fuck!" he cried with a whimper as Aramis took Treville so Jussac could pick him up.

"I didn't mean to do that!" Jean muttered suddenly upset by the fact Armand looked like he was about to cry.

It was good no one seemed to pay attention to the fact a man of the cloth just swore as Jussac shushed him. He guessed seeing as there was only one women present they all felt a bit of sympathy. No one liked a kick in the nuts. Not that right now he had any.

After the Queen gave them both some advice about their action's and rivalry, about how acting without serious thought could hurt not only one but more or yourself the pair agreed on a tiny truce handshake and settled to be quiet as they were lead back inside.

Jussac chuckled at the dirt down one side of Richelieu's face. "Looks like someone needs a bath sire"

Armand glared.

"I think ours needs one too" Aramis chuckled looking at Porthos who'd been carrying an equally dirty  Treville.

Treville looked at Armand worriedly. If there was anything in this world he didn't want, it was a bath.

This was the moment Richelieu began to scheme.

"Well fine, if that's what we get for being childish...but at least let us walk there" he offered sounding more mature than he had for the past few hours.

Treville didn't catch on until the door opened and they made it into the corridor.

"RUN!"

In seconds Armand was off down the hall as fast as his legs would carry him, Treville hot on his heels as they fought to hide from the two Musketeers and Red Guard that were now chasing after them shouting.

"Captain!"

"Armand!!"

"Get bloody back here you cowards!!!" Porthos laughed for god nature receiving a dirty glare from Aramis.

Two corridor's down they were laughing to themselves as they escaped but it halted as soon as they ran into the legs of Bernajoux.

"Now then boys...what's all the hurry" he smirked wickedly before grasping them by the collars before they could run off. "I was told someone needed a bath"

 

"Traitor" Armand muttered under his breath as they were tossed over the swordsman shoulders' and carried back to the shouting 'carers'.

 

So here they both stood in the bathroom of the Cardinal's room beside Jussac, Porthos, Aramis and The Cardinal's chamber maid.

Bernajoux stood outside the door on guard incase they tried another escape.

The cardinal sat in his little velvet breeches on a stool, little arms folded and pouting, Treville sat wrapped in a towel having been good enough to remove his own clothes at least and watching the maid fill the bath tub, it was big enough for three fully grown men so plenty of room for the two small bodies.

"You know we could turn back into fully grown men at any minute and this would be very embarrassing" Jean announced and the room paused.

"Have you two done fighting then?" Aramis asked eyeing Porthos as he pulled off his shirt leaning down to test the water.

They both nodded.

"Well then after your bath we'll go see the Comatesse and you can ask her nicely to change you back" Jussac.

"but you don't know that....it might just wear off" Richelieu pouted.

"I doubt it" Aramis offered picking up Treville and to try to remove the towel so he could put him in the bath.

"NO LOOKING!"

The whole room laughed but did as they were told facing away as Treville let Aramis place him in the water. The rose petals covered up any view into the water.

Everyone did the same when Armand pulled off his breeches and helped himself into the tub with a slight splash, slyly noticing the fact Treville was peeking through his fingers.

While the maid washed Armand, Porthos got busy cleaning Jean. Aramis eyes having not left the other musketeer's torso once since Richelieu got in the tub.

They were quite surprised when Richelieu commanded them out of the room so the two boys could 'talk privately'. Seeing as the pair couldn't escape they agreed and cleared the room warning them they'd be back in to take them to the King soon.

 

They were silent for a few moments as Armand stared down into the water and Jean looked about the room.

"You know I can see that right?" Armand suddenly spoke up a hint of amusement in his voice.

Jean frowned. "See what?"

Armand pointed under the water and Jean blushed hard covering himself.

"Well I can see yours too!"

Armand gaffed. "I know, you were looking when I got in the bath, but  you haven't seen nothing of mine" he laughed suggestively  making Jean more embarrassed.

"I hate you" Jean muttered staring at the petals.

"I love to hate you too" Armand replied a smile on his lips.

Jean smiled. "Love to hate me? Don't mean you hate the fact you actually love me?"

It was then Armand turn to blush. "No..., I-I admire you, sure but....I-" he fell short of words.

The words didn't mean anything. They had nothing behind them anymore.

"You really think she was a lesbian?" Jean asked suddenly.

Armand blinked and shrugged glad for the conversation change. "I don't know, I think the accusations got carried away a bit"

"Tell you what, if she is a lesbian then I hope we have to go down to the cells to have her change us back" Jean offered.

Armand laughed. "Okay, then if she isn't a lesbian I hope we change back right now and I'll stand up to have her case withdrawn and we'll never speak of witchcraft or lesbians again"

To prove his point he went to stand up in the tub the water splashing slightly and Jean covered his eyes with a playful squeal only to find that when he took his hands away they were no longer small. Nor was he.

A gasp from Armand had him look up to view the older standing completely naked in front of him save for what off his pride he covered with his hand before reached for a towel.

There was a tightly drawn awkward silence between them now. Jean unable to remove the image of the naked Cardinal from his mind and cursed himself violently as the image ran straight into his groin.

"You were right..." he said quietly as Armand wrapped a towel around himself.

Armand paused and turned to him confused. "About what?"

"I hadn't seen all of you..." the tone in Jean voice was laced with embarrassment and an underlying suggestiveness.

Richelieu gulped and let his eyes roam the soldier's torso. Damn he was well built. Just shy of a six pack as well.

But it was something else that caught his attention something bigger, thicker and no longer just floating but standing proudly.

"You, er...might want to put that away before my maid and your musketeers return" he smirked turning himself as blush burn his cheeks and he mentally battered down a naughty idea.

Jean shot out of the tub when he realized and grabbed his own towel.

"Truce?" Jean asked covering himself hurriedly.

"Forever, I guess she wasn't a lesbian then" Armand replied as they both snorted and broke into laughter at themselves.

Dressing they made to leave but not before Jean swallowed his pride and made his point.

The kiss was only short and sweet but to Armand it pushed away his doubts and his fears.

"I hate that I love you" Jean muttered into Richelieu's neck.

"I hate you too..." He chuckled back

"all this time?" Jean asked as they stepped back.

"I feared that the one day I didn't argue with you, is the day you wouldn't love me..."

 

As they emerged from the bathroom back to themselves they were more or less ushered into their separate ways once more, the others clearly happy the predicament was over.

 

"I hate you Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu, I bloody hate you..." Treville shouted back down the corridor with an odd smile on his face as Armand and Jussac walked away.

The Cardinal laughed loudly. "And I you, Jean Armand de Peyrer, I hate you too..."


End file.
